We have heard often times, that the best thing to be is to be yourself. But the question here is, how can you be yourself without a “self” with a proper identity?
Charles Horton Cooley, a renowned American sociologist spoke about the LOOKING GLASS SELF. He explained that a person’s self is formed by an interaction with the society. That is, self is formed based on communication which is a means of social exchange. He explained that one’s consciousness of himself is a reflection of the ideas of others about him. In other words, when we relate with people on a daily basis, we tend to agree with their perception about us. We tend to see ourselves through their eyes. We give a definition of who we are by what they say.
You know you are lazy not because you knew but because it is the thought of people around you turned into words which they constantly recite in your ears when it is time to work. These words sink down into your consciousness and even when you try to fight it, you tend to agree to it that you are lazy at a point. It is at this point that you begin to seek a change. You want to work hard to impress people around you, you want to change the negative impression people have about you. You begin to seek for a new you.
As much as you would welcome people’s opinion about you, you don’t have to get yourself all choked up with it. People’s opinion might not matter to you, but at a point of personal reflection, they can go a long way in shaping your SELF. Their opinion could make you better or worse of on the part of personal development. None the less, there are ways to develop a right or proper self.
Appreciate who you are, what you have, what you don’t have and who you are not.
Some comment about you could be self -draining, leaving you with a low self-esteem. What to do in this case is to not to run but rather, get better at what they say you are not. At the end, you’d be happy you did, not for them, but for you.
Spend more time reading books. Add value to yourself
Learn new skills and practice often. Doing what you love takes your mind off worries or distractions that surrounds you. It keeps your spirit high and brightens your mood.
Take time to relax. Listen to music, read novels, newspapers, magazines. Meditation isn’t a bad idea either but meditate on the right things.
Exercise daily. It keeps your heart in a good condition.
Stay positive always. Don’t give room to intimidating thoughts. They add no value to you.
Profess the best about you, believe the best is what you have and would have and see the best come your way
Happy weekend, happy holiday to all our Muslim brothers and sisters.
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