SEX IN RELATIONSHIPS: HOW GOOD OR BAD By Opeyemi Salami

As Africans, Nigerians especially, we are guided by strong beliefs about our culture. There is virtually nothing we do that is not guided by our culture, a strong belief in morals. Relationships are not excluded.

The issue of sex in relationships have raised serious concern in the minds of Nigerian parents, most especially when their baby girl and boy is transiting into a teenager or when they gain admission into the university. They are always conscious of who their friends are, where they hang out, what keeps their phone in their hands at past six in the evening, why they are giggling over the phone, why they engage in long conversation over the phone, why their boy seems so close to a girl or why their girl seems so close to a boy.

It could really be annoying when parents are over protective, always assuming that the relationship their teens and youths are in is all about sex and nothing more. In some cases, this could be true, (“elders are not always wrong”, a typical belief in Nigeria), but really, there are other reasons why people go into relationships apart from sex. Instead of concluding, parents should sit their kids down and ask why they are in the relationships they are in. Anyway, this is not the discussion for today, just a random thought.

Today we would be viewing effect of sex on relationships, please lets us know your opinion about it by dropping a comment below after reading. Thanks.
There is a belief that once two lovers have sex before marriage, sex is worthless in marriage. Some people believe that the relationship, even if it last till marriage, it might end up not working in the end. A lot of negative perception of sex outside marriage. But how true are these beliefs?

The gospel of love is not sex, and sex is not love is very correct. I agree strongly with that. Reason is that, a man can have sex with any woman without loving her in his mind. Men don’t have to love commercial sex workers before they get down with them. Friends with benefit, which is on the rise among youths and teenagers now don’t involve love. The main goal of the relationship is to help one another fulfil their sexual desires. Those who rape are most of the time filled with lust and selfishness, no love. This makes it true that sex isn’t love.

But could it be the same for those in a serious relationship? research has shown that there are two reasons why people have sex in their relationship. The first is that, it enhances intimacy and the second is to prevent negative outcomes in their relationship such as disappointing a partner or conflict. Either ways, sex doesn’t keep a relationship, neither does it destroy a relationship. if it does, married people would have been single again or married again and again till the word married be replaced by another word which I don’t know. And of course, sex enhances intimacy between partners.

Why sex destroys a relationship whether in marriage or outside marriage is because the partners have not found good reasons outside sex to be together. When you have sex to be intimate or to avoid trouble, at a point, the relationship loses its essence, sex becomes boring and the relationship falls apart. Sex isn’t the only thing that brings intimacy, communication does. However, I have heard parents say when a guy loves a lady or a lady loves a guy, once sex is involved, the feelings depreciate. How true is this?
Once again, please feel free to share your thoughts…

Thanks for Reading.